The Worst Undershirt in America: Faded Glory

I'm a pretty low maintenance kind of guy. I'm not into fashion, I just like clothes that are comfortable so when I find a brand of jeans I like I buy them for ten years or so.

That said, I've tried more brands of undershirts than I think most men have, at least I would hope so. You name it I've tried them. Fruit of the Loom, Hanes, Calvin Kline, Jockey, Gap, Old Navy and I'm sure a few others.

Why do I have a thing for undershirts? Well, for one I'm hairy and no one wants to see my chest hair popping out of a shirt at work. Trust me. Secondly, I…uh…tend to perspire quite a bit and they help prevent pit stains on my nice shirts. That means the undershirts take the brunt of the offense and do eventually stain. Yeah, time to get back to the issue at hand…

A few months back I was in the wilds of Wisconsin on business and lost my luggage. The only store nearby was Wal-Mart so I swung by to get clothes for the next day. I got some underwear, socks, polo shirt and undershirts.

The Faded Glory brand is Wal-Mart's in-house clothing line I guess. I remember my wife buying some underwear for Carter there once just to try them.

I unrolled the first shirt from the bag and immediately could feel how flimsy they were compared to the Jockey Staycools I'm currently using every day (yes, these are the ones Tim Tebow shills). I figured I'd wear the Faded Glory shirts out quickly and toss them, giving more life to my other undershirts. That didn't take long. A week later one of the shirts ripped when I was taking it off. There were three tears right underneath the collar in the front. Otherwise known as the one part of the shirt people see.

In the trash.

Even after a few washes the material of the other two remaining shirts feels itchy; not at all as soft and lush as those Tebow-specials.

The collars on the Wal-Mart shirts haven't lost their shape yet though which is good. Those Hanes commercials where Michael Jordan talks bacon neck…that does happen. In my experience it happens most to Calvin Klein and Hanes undershirts.

I can't recall how much they cost for a three-pack but I'm pretty sure it was over $10 yet cheaper than the Fruit of the Looms that Wal-Mart also stocked. The Jockeys are relatively expensive at $20 a two-pack. You have to wait for a sale.

I'm not a Wal-Mart hater either. We have one a quarter mile away from our house and it is amazingly convenient and certain things are cheaper there than anywhere else…like printer ink.

They just happen to sell the crappiest undershirt I've ever worn.

*In Googling the name of the Jockey Staycools I discovered there is actually a site called The Undershirt Guy. So clearly there is someone who has tried more undershirts than me.